Miley Cyrus appeared at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. She performed "We Can't Stop." There were teddy bears and twerking dancers. Robin Thicke joined her and they sang "Blurred Lines" together. Then 2 Chainz and Kendrick Lamar joined them for a performance of Thicke's "Give It 2 U." Miley Cyrus danced throughout.
Those are the facts.
The rest of this article could go any number of ways. I could write a step-by-step recap of the video, guiding you through the overly suggestive dance moves and the baffling involvement of furries. I could admonish Miley Cyrus for sticking her tongue out all the time. I could make a hack joke about this crushing blow to her father's achy breaky heart.
None of that, however, could come close to encapsulating the disheartening sadness brought about by this surreal display. My review, therefore, is this image of the crowd's glassy-eyed reaction:
Note the guy at top right, staring straight up. This is a photo of a man losing his faith in God.
Watch the video above and hug somebody you love before those teddy bears become sentient and start devouring our souls.