"Lost My Mind" - Lily Allen [YouTube Music Video]

Allen contemplates personal and professional struggles
Kate Johnston

by Kate Johnston

Published June 12, 2018

British pop singer Lily Allen addresses heartbreak and betrayal in her new music video for "Lost My Mind," from her newly released album, No Shame. Watch it above on YouTube.

The video features Allen alone in her apartment, full of pink accents and colorful patterns to match her faded pink hair.  She appears alone, pacing around and contemplating her relationship with an ex-lover, who shows up in flashbacks of heated fights and intense arguments through the first half of the video. 

The calm, melancholy pop tune subtly portrays the singer's downward spiral — the room begins to spin in circles, and Allen walks along the walls and on the ceiling, singing, "Now I'm stuck in a rut, kicking stones / Looking at my phone all night / Maybe I've lost my mind."  With flashing lamps and a TV full of static, the video reflects Allen's inner turmoil and loss of control, as rain begins to fall from the ceiling and she is left drenched and alone in her apartment at the video's end.

Allen split from her husband in 2016 and their divorce was made final earlier this month.  But is the song only about an ex-lover, or could there be more to it?  With the visual of a spinning room and lyrics like "I was never planning on / any of this chaos," the song has a strong theme of loss of identity and control.  This parallels Allen's recent statements on her frustration with the music industry, specifically her 2014 album, Sheezus, which came out just after she had her second child.  In a recent interview with Stereogum, she said:

I think I was suffering from postnatal depression when I started writing [Sheezus], and I think I was having an identity crisis, that I did not know I was a new mum. I felt like I needed to be a pop star to pay my bills, and I didn’t feel like that, so I did what I thought pop stars should do, and it was very wrong.... I didn’t have a sense of self at the time, I was looking to other people to guide me.

The motif of the manipulative ex-boyfriend in "Lost My Mind" also relates to Allen's thoughts on the music industry as a "boys club," which she commented on in the same interview:

I think the record industry is the boys club, and I think the boys club are OK with manipulating young women that don’t have any responsibilities. And maybe they feel slightly more guilty behaving that way when a woman’s got children, and their life is real, all of a sudden, you know? It’s OK to rip off a little crap that’s taking drugs and getting fucked up. But it’s not really that cool to do that to a young mum.

Given Allen's history of being outspoken about her personal struggles, it would make sense that she would touch upon these topics in her newer work, especially in a song about being stuck in a rut and feeling confused, manipulated, and out of control.  When asked in the interview how much of No Shame is a response to her experience with Sheezus, she boldly said: "The whole thing."

Even though she isn't slipping laxatives in her ex-boyfriend's coffee or waving balloons that read "Lily Allen has a baggy pussy," Allen hasn't lost her signature unapologetic honesty.

Allen will be embarking on a North American tour starting this fall to support No Shame, which was just released last week.  Pick it up on Amazon.

For concert tickets and more, check out Lily Allen's Zumic artist page.

Lily Allen
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