Noel Gallagher's Sarcasm Knows No Bounds: His Take On One Direction's Zayn Malik and Tidal during Rolling Stone Interview [YouTube Audio Clips]

Noah Zipper

by Noah Zipper

Published May 6, 2015

Noel Gallagher has always been candid with the press, giving his brutal take on everything from modern rock music to his own funeral. So with the release of a new Rolling Stone interview, it's no surprise that he pulls no punches when discussing topics like the decisions of Zayn Malik, former One Direction member, and Jay-Z's new streaming platform Tidal.

Noel Gallagher on Zayn Malik and One Direction:

I've never met [Zayn]. I've only met Harry, who orbits in social circles where sometimes we end up at the same parties. Harry's not got a great deal to say for himself, but he's a good lad! For Zayn, though, I'd say, "Fuckin' get a good accountant because life is very fuckin' long."

It's a strange thing for that lad to have done at that age. The greatest quote was — I laughed out loud when I read it — "I just want to be a normal 22-year-old." Pfft. Who wants to be a normal 22-year-old?! Hang on a minute. You can be fucking anything that moves and gettin' paid half a million dollars a week, you fuckin' idiot. You want to be a normal 22-year-old? Have you met any normal 22-year-olds? They're fuckin' shit-for-brains. What are you talking about, you fuckin' idiot? God. All those young Japanese girls suckin' me cock. [Sarcastically] So shallow and meaningless. I'll say this to you, Zayn: You might have wanted to be a normal 22-year-old, but you won't want to be a normal 25-year-old [laughs].

Noel Gallagher on Tidal:

I thought that the people on the stage might want to be a little bit aware that they don't look like Jay Z's minions. Madonna was pretty cool the way she cocked her leg up on that desk and signed the [declaration]. I think ultimately with the spiel they came out with, it was like, "Do these people think they're the fuckin' Avengers? They're going to save the fuckin' [world]." I was speaking to Chris [Martin] the day after, and I said, "Are you after a Nobel Peace Prize? Is that what you're after?" They were like, "We're going to fuckin' save the music business." And I'm just sitting there, thinking you might want to write a decent chorus for a fuckin' start. Never mind fuckin' royalties and the "power of music." Write a tune. Fuckin' start with that.

Rolling Stone: I'm surprised you watched the press conference.

[Laughs] I only watched it because someone was like, "Get on these bunch of cunts on here." And I went, "Who?" "Fuckin' your mate Chris Martin and all these cunts." I got on YouTube and was like, "Oh. Ohhh. Ohhhhhh." Alicia Keys made a speech that really should have been at the U.N. "We're all aware of the power of music!" But I don't think you are. I quote Nietzche regularly too, but only when I'm talking about downloading [laughs].

Whether or not Gallagher feels strongly about these issues is unclear, given that he speaks with the same severity about all topics, but the interview does go on to shed light on what is personally important to Gallagher, namely making and performing his music.

As a bonus, Noel's comments regarding his brother, and former bandmate, Liam Gallagher, are as venomous as usual, and who doesn't enjoy bickering among the Gallagher brothers.

He also speaks on drug legalization, gay marriage, and a few other hot-button issues, which can be found in the full article at

Liam Gallagher Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
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