Paris Hilton Signed By Cash Money Records, Everyone Dies A Little

Jimmy Haas

by Jimmy Haas

Published May 23, 2013


In a deal that is surely a sign of the end of days, actress/singer/amateur filmmaker Paris Hilton has been signed to Cash Money Records. In other troubling news, she will be releasing an album of what she calls "electro-pop music" as soon as this summer.

Cash Money CEO Bryan "Birdman" Williams tweeted the announcement, saying "Welcome @ParisHilton to tha Family. RichgangRichgirl. YMCMB." Paris Hilton then posted her last video, a collaboration between herself, Lil Wayne, and Afrojack.

If you want more of this, luckily, the album will be delivered unto us within the next few months. This will be a significant departure from her first album, Paris, which was a fairly standard pop album. In truth it wasn't much different from a great deal of the other super-produced pop albums, and it even received a few decent reviews. Those reviews did make sure to mention that it was being judged solely as the most shallow pop album that there could be, and in that regard, it succeeded brilliantly.

Paris Hilton will join other superstars on her new label, including Drake, Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, Busta Rhymes, and Limp Bizkit. Should future collaborations arise, we will be there to tell you. Though really, nothing she does can top "Stars Are Blind."

Electronic Pop
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