Music video directors know one thing above all else: sex sells. Most music videos that come out have some degree of sexuality, but the videos that follow are the downright hottest videos of all time. From hot chicks with power tools to Madonna in a pansexual bondage film, from supermodels to Motley Crue's favorite strip clubs, these videos are guaranteed to get your motor running. Keep in mind some of these are uncensored, so you may not want to watch them at work.
In no particular order, Zumic presents the 11 Sexiest Music Videos Of All Time:
1. Marvin Gaye - "Sexual Healing"
Do I even need to say anything about this video? It's "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye. Do take note at the 2:50 mark, though, when a sexy nurse erotically gives him a spoonful of "Midnight Love Potion" and then has a drink straight from the bottle herself.
2. Mariah Carey - "Honey"
Mariah Carey is no stranger to a hot music video, but in "Honey" she stars as a badass super spy on the run from some bumbling mafiosos. Halfway through, she becomes a super hot sailor girl for some reason, but you won't hear me ask for an explanation.
3. Shakira - "Hips Don’t Lie"
Shakira's hips may not lie, but they move in ways that are illegal in most countries. She can dance sitting in a chair. It's just not fair, Shakira.
4. Fiona Apple - "Criminal"
In "Criminal," Fiona Apple staggers and writhes through the half-dressed aftermath of what looks like one hell of a party. She sings about redemption and mistakes made, but still mangages to soak the screen with sexiness. Then, just for good measure, she strips down in the kitchen. That's usually what I do after a party. More than likely, you remember exactly where you were when this video came out.
5. Notorious B.I.G. - "Big Poppa"
What else can we say, Biggie Smalls knew how to make a sexy video. It's not just the fact that he partied in a club with a bunch of beautiful people, it's the fact that he put a random hot tub full of girls in it. It also doesn't hurt that the song features a sample of The Isley Brothers' "Between The Sheets." What could be sexier than that?
6. Chris Isaak - "Wicked Game"
Isaak's lovelorn crooning in "Wicked Game" does nothing to distract from the intimacy in the video. Isaak and supermodel Helena Christensen frolic on the beach for most of it, but it heats up pretty quickly. They are genuinely beautiful people with amazing chemistry in a well-directed video. That sounds pretty sexy to me. It also doesn't hurt that Christensen was a Victoria's Secret model.
7. Rick James - "Give it to me Baby"
Rick James does not mince words. This video is relentless Rick James sexiness. He is an undeniable master of the sexy music video and this one does not disappoint. The scenes in the pool have plenty for the ladies, too.
8. Motley Crue - "Girls, Girls, Girls"
Nobody ever accused Motley Crue of being classy. This video embodies the lifestyle of rock and roll riff raff: motorcycles, exotic dancers, and a switchblade knife thrown at a table for some reason. It may be lowbrow, but at least it's unabashedly lowbrow.
9. Benny Benassi - "Satisfaction"
When they wrote the Seinfeld episode in which they discussed "good naked" and "bad naked," they used belt sanding naked as an example of "bad naked." They obviously hadn't seen this video. There is not much hotter than Rosie the Riviter-esque girls wearing red lipstick and using power tools. OSHA probably wouldn't approve of their attire, but they'd probably be too distracted to care.
10. Robin Thicke - "Blurred Lines" (NSFW)
This is by far the hottest video of the year, and pretty high in the running for hottest video of all time. This version is banned from YouTube and features three absolutely stunning models strutting past Thicke, Pharrell, and T.I. That's it. There's a few arbitrary props thrown in, but mostly it's just amazingly pretty girls being amazingly pretty girls. Also, keep an eye out at the 3:14 mark. What does it say about someone who feels the need to scrawl "Robin Thicke has a big dick" across an entire wall?
11. Madonna - "Justify My Love"
Madonna shows up wearing a trenchcoat and little else. A cast of slightly androgynous characters perform a variety of kinky acts. Madonna writhes. It's a simple as that, but it's extraordinarily erotic. But what else could we expect from a woman who published a book called "Sex?"
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments.